Legal Prep Starter Kit — NFCS Tools Library
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Tools Library — Tool 03

Legal Prep
Starter Kit.

Walk into the legal process prepared, not panicked. This kit saves you time, money, and the emotional cost of going in blind.

Not A Fucking Cinderella Story
Important

This kit is for general guidance only — not legal advice. Laws and court rules vary by country and region. Consult a qualified attorney before filing any documents or making legal decisions specific to your situation.

Before You Begin

The legal system is expensive in direct proportion to how unprepared you are.

Every question your lawyer has to research costs you. Every document they have to chase costs you. Every time you call them in panic and talk for an hour — that costs you. The more organised and prepared you arrive, the less time they spend on administration — and the more they spend on actually helping you.

This kit is your preparation tool. Work through it before your first legal consultation, before you engage a mediator, and before you respond to any legal correspondence.

Your lawyer is not your therapist. Keep it factual, keep it short, and walk in prepared — or you will pay for every paragraph.

Step 01

Gather these before your first meeting.

Walk in with as much of this as possible. Every document you bring saves billable time. Every document they have to request costs you a follow-up email, a follow-up call, and another invoice.

Identity & Marriage
Personal documents
  • Your ID document or passport
  • Your marriage certificate
  • Your antenuptial contract — if one exists
  • Children's birth certificates
  • Any existing court orders — protection orders, interim orders, previous divorce proceedings
Financial
Money and assets
  • Bank statements — at least 6 months for all accounts
  • Payslips — yours and his if accessible
  • Tax returns — last 2 years
  • Bond or mortgage statements
  • Vehicle finance statements
  • Investment or retirement fund statements
  • Business registration documents if a business is involved
  • Any loan or credit agreements in either name
  • Insurance policies
Evidence
Documentation of the situation
  • Your evidence log — printed or accessible on your phone
  • Screenshots of relevant messages — threatening, financial, controlling
  • Any police case numbers or reports
  • Medical records related to any injuries
  • A timeline of key events — written out clearly and dated

Keep an off-device backup of all digital evidence. Attorney-client privilege protects everything you hand to your lawyer — give them copies as soon as possible.

Step 02

Write your timeline before you arrive.

A clear, chronological account of your situation saves your first consultation from being a chaotic emotional download. Write it out beforehand. Keep it factual. Keep it dated. Bring it with you.

1.
When did the marriage begin
Date of marriage. Where. Matrimonial regime — In Community, Out of Community with or without Accrual. If you don't know your regime, note that as a question.
2.
When did problems begin
Approximate date when the relationship began to deteriorate or abuse began. The pattern — not every incident, just the shape of it.
3.
Key incidents and dates
The most significant incidents — with dates. Physical incidents, major financial events, police involvement, protection orders applied for or granted.
4.
Current living situation
Where are you living now. Where are the children. Who is in the family home. What is the current access arrangement.
5.
What you need immediately
Your top three most urgent legal needs — protection, maintenance, custody, occupation of the home, financial disclosure. Know this before you walk in.
Step 03

Questions to ask before you hire anyone.

Your first consultation is not just them assessing your case. It is also you assessing them. Consult more than one attorney before deciding who to retain. Ask these questions — and pay attention to how they answer them.

?
What is your experience with family and divorce law? You want someone who specialises — not a generalist who handles everything from property law to traffic fines.
?
How do you bill — hourly, fixed fee, or retainer? Understand exactly what you are paying for before you commit. Ask what a retainer covers and what falls outside of it.
?
What is your estimate for a case like mine? They cannot give you an exact number — but they should be able to give you a range. If they refuse to discuss costs, that is a warning sign.
?
Do you recommend mediation first — and why or why not? A good lawyer will be honest about when mediation is appropriate. A lawyer who dismisses it without reason may be more interested in litigation fees.
?
How will you keep me updated on my case? Every update — every email, every call — costs money. Understand their communication style and whether it matches your needs and your budget.
?
How can I reduce unnecessary costs in working with you? A good lawyer will tell you. They may ask you to consolidate questions into single emails, to bring organised documents, or to avoid emotional calls. This question separates the honest ones from the rest.
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Who else in your practice will work on my case? Junior attorneys often do research and drafting — at lower hourly rates. Know who is touching your file and what they charge.
?
What do you need from me to move forward efficiently? This shows you are serious, organised, and ready to be a good client — which often gets you better service and lower bills.
Red flags

Be cautious of any lawyer who encourages unnecessary conflict, dismisses your concerns about cost, or makes promises about outcomes. No ethical lawyer can guarantee a result.

The calmer and more prepared you are, the less the system can chew you up. Clarity is your leverage.

— Tatum
Step 04

What you are actually paying for.

Most women have no idea how lawyer billing works until the first invoice arrives. Here is the reality — so nothing surprises you.

Every email they send or receiveReading your email. Drafting a response. Both are billable.
Billable
Every phone callIncluding the time they spend thinking about what to say after you hang up.
Billable
Every WhatsApp messageYes. Every one. Even a one-line reply.
Billable
Document draftingEvery letter, every affidavit, every application. Drafting and reviewing.
Billable
Court appearancesPreparation time, travel time, waiting time, and the appearance itself.
Billable
PostponementsWhen the matter is postponed — your lawyer's time waiting in court is still billed to you.
Billable
Correspondence with the other sideEvery letter his lawyer sends that your lawyer reads and responds to — you pay for both sides of that exchange.
Billable
ResearchAny legal question your lawyer has to look up or brief a colleague on.
Billable

Consolidate your questions into one email rather than five. Prepare documents before every meeting. Avoid emotional calls — save those for your therapist. Every minute of lawyer time you save is money back in your pocket.

Step 05

Mediation vs. litigation — know your options.

Before you enter any legal process, understand what you are choosing and why. Neither option is right for every situation — but knowing both gives you the power to make the decision, not have it made for you.

Approach
Advantages
Disadvantages
Mediation
Significantly cheaper. Faster. Less hostile. More control over the outcome. Costs can be shared or allocated to the financially stronger party.
May not work if he is manipulative or refuses to engage honestly. Agreement must be comprehensive or it creates future problems.
Litigation
Court-backed and binding. Useful in high-conflict situations. Judge makes the decision if agreement cannot be reached.
Very expensive. Very slow. Highly stressful. Less control over the outcome. The other side's lawyer can drag it out indefinitely.
The NFCS position

Consider mediation first — but only if you go in prepared with comprehensive knowledge of what a proper agreement looks like. A vague mediated agreement is worse than no agreement. Know what you need before you sit down at any table.

Ready to go deeper?

The documents that cost me a fortune in legal fees — available here for a fraction of that.

The NFCS Legal Templates include a comprehensive Divorce Order Template, a detailed Parenting Plan, and a Maintenance Agreement — everything you need to walk into any negotiation or mediation fully prepared.

View The Legal Templates →
Step 06

How to contact a lawyer for the first time.

Your first contact with a lawyer sets the tone. Keep it short, factual, and purposeful. They do not need your whole story in the first email — they need the key facts and your most urgent needs. Every extra paragraph is money.

If you need to move urgently
Urgent Contact Script
I need immediate legal advice regarding [divorce / maintenance / custody / protection order]. Here are the key facts: My current situation: [2-3 lines maximum]. My most urgent concerns: [top 2-3 issues only]. Children involved: [yes/no — ages]. Please confirm your next available consultation and your fees for an initial meeting.
Keep this to under 150 words. Stick to facts only.
If you have time to plan
Strategic Contact Script
I am considering [divorce / legal separation / maintenance / custody arrangements] and would like to understand my options before proceeding. Key facts: Marriage length: [years]. Children: [yes/no — ages]. Main areas of concern: [finances / custody / property / abuse]. I have [documents / financial records / evidence log] prepared. Could we schedule an initial consultation to discuss next steps and your fees?
This signals you are organised — which often results in better service.
Step 07

Your financial snapshot.

Know your numbers before you walk into any legal meeting. This is not just for your lawyer — it is for you. Understanding your financial reality gives you clarity and confidence that cannot be taken from you in any room.

My monthly incomeSalary, freelance, side income, any support currently received
R ________
His monthly incomeAs best you know it — salary, business income, investment income
R ________
Essential monthly expensesRent or bond, food, utilities, transport, school fees, medical aid
R ________
Children's monthly costsSchool fees, activities, medical, clothing, food
R ________
Debt repaymentsAll loans, credit cards, store accounts in either or both names
R ________
Total assetsProperty value, vehicles, investments, savings, retirement funds
R ________
Support owed or unpaidAny maintenance arrears already outstanding
R ________

Fill in as much as you know. Gaps are information too — if you do not know what he earns or what assets exist, that tells your lawyer exactly what financial disclosure they need to demand.

Walk in prepared.
Walk out with more
than you came in with.

The woman who arrives organised, calm, and clear — with her documents, her timeline, and her questions ready — is the woman the system cannot overwhelm. That woman is you.

Tatum
The light will prevail
Disclaimer: This kit is provided for general guidance only and does not constitute legal advice. Laws and court requirements vary by country and region. Please consult a qualified attorney for advice specific to your circumstances and jurisdiction before making any legal decisions.